Who are you working for, really?

If you were born in the 1900's you may remember the show “Who’s the Boss?”… But I am not here to talk about Judith Light and Tony Danza. I am here to ask you a few questions.

Who is the boss in your life?

To whom are you accountable?

 If you mess up, who are you "oh crap"-ing about?

Who's opinion is most important when you think about your performance in relation to your goals?

If your answer to any of the questions above is someone other than you, then you need to remember your power.

If you have the Sunday scaries, or the Monday meh's then you may be working under the false thinking that you are powerless over your life and what you do with it because you are serving the wrong master.

You’ve made someone in charge of your life who doesn’t have to live with it.

I'm not here to judge you for that, I am here to help you with that. Because I was that person, and it's the reason why I am in your inbox. 

I would obsess over what I could do to make my boss see me as effective and "next in line."

I would ruminate over any little piece of "constructive" feedback or what I said and how I said it.

I would await performance appraisal time with the anxiety of someone anticipating a medical diagnosis.

I would start my dread-drinking on Sunday afternoons because I didn't want to think about Monday's pointless staff meetings where I had to read my "status" of work that felt soul crushing because the work wasn’t aligned to what I enjoyed.

All of these behaviors stemmed from me forgetting that I had the keys to my car and could drive it wherever I wanted.

It’s an easy thing to do, specifically in environments where your job depends on co-worker satisfaction. And a lot of yours do. You start to care so much about the perception of others. You feel resentful, unmotivated, underutilized and/or unappreciated.

Good news!

Your problem is simple. You forgot who you work for and who your ultimately accountable to and confused reporting structure with true, soul-level responsibility.

You work for you (even if you report to a guy named Guy who spray tans).

He may have your performance KPIs on his desk, but it’s your vision, your joy, your growth and your alignment to those areas that will drive your happiness.

It’s your life and no one will give you what you are seeking.

You have to create it.

Sure you may work as an employee for a sexy or boring company. But at the end of the day, you are exchanging your life-- your limited, precious time that you could be doing other things with--- to be there and get paid and have health care.

Yes, you need to earn a living, but never at the expense of your mental health, your vision or your soul. And never, ever at the expense of your vitality.

So, if you are unhappy, or in a cycle of self-sabotage, or dreading Mondays, it is not your boss that is the problem. It's who you think the boss is that is the problem…

Get out of the corner, Baby. 

Start with asking your REAL boss (that's you BTW) what you want.

Then determine how to think and feel about yourself to get there.

Then develop an action plan that takes you from "bow" to "wow."

And show up for that plan like you show up for an all-employee meeting.

Because the sooner you realize your power, the sooner you will own it.

Boss up, Beautiful.