Stop Playing Small

Have you ever thought that if something would just go your way… your boss, the economy, the lottery, people listening to you… that it would be so much easier to just do what you needed to do--like betting on yourself…maybe investing in your masters, investing in your health, start the business… and then you would be the person you want to be…

You would be more confident.

You would be happier.

You would be more present.

You are probably like “Duh, Bruh. That is what I believe…”

And I believed it, too.

I believed if I only had better genes, I would feel confident.

I believed if my boss would recognize my effort, I'd be happy at work.

I believed if I had a degree in finance, I wouldn't have to worry about job security.

I believed if my spouse did what I wanted, I would feel happier.

And while these beliefs sound enticing. They are a pack of liars…

Because these beliefs require something external, something you cannot control, something that has to "happen to you" for you to get moving, take action, and feel how you want to feel.

This construct is a thought error: They are have-do-be lies. It lies like a rug, boo.

If you have this, then you can do this, and then be this.

Fill yours in the blanks…

If you have (something outside you), then you can (do this action) and then you can be (some adjective or noun that sounds hot diggity).

The have-do-be lies will keep you in a place of disempowerment. A slave to circumstance. A person who is playing small when you have big ass dreams. You will wait. You will start and quit. You will tell yourself you are not ready. And it is not your fault. As a society we are hammered with messages that says that big lips, big lashes, big boobs, big salaries, big titles, big purses will get us to stop from playing small. Like a permission slip to behave in a state of power.

But your power is always there, as long as you remember you have it.

So how does a goal-oriented woman like yourself fix this bullshit to get to the good shit?

 As Missy Elliot said, "flip it and reverse it…" (I am quoting her song Work it by the way…highly recommend 10/10).

Instead of having, then doing, then being- flip it.

Be, then do, then eventually have.

You want to be fit?

Start treating your body like an athlete.

Be caring towards your body that you have. So give it rest, protein, water and movement that builds muscles. And eventually have a healthy body.

Do you want to more responsibility?

Be a leader without positional authority to grant such action. Have a point of view. Show responsibility. Take on bigger challenges at work. And eventually you are leading from where you are and others want your help and maybe you get a direct report or three.

Want more money?

Know your worth is undeniable regardless of your title. Recognize that money is a tool, and know what you will do with it when you get more of it. Negotiate your salary. Apply to bigger roles. Do your annual personal financial plan and understand how your money works for you. Pay off debt. Budget where you need. And you will create more wealth with your actions eventually.

Want a partner who does more at home?

Be confident that asking for what you need doesn't make you weak. Tell your spouse what you need help with and don't micro-manage it to your perfect standard. Say thank you. Don't be surprised when eventually you feel like you have more support.

See the difference? 

You aren't wishing for perfect circumstances.

You aren't waiting for permission.

You aren't doubting your value.

You aren't shrinking from asking for what you want.

You are being the thing. Then doing the thing. Then getting the thing.

It’s kinda like the law of attraction stuff only less woo and more do.

This is how you play big.

This is how you own your badassery.

This is how you step into your power.

This is how you create what you want.
 

Now go forth and be what you want.